PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
