He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Are my feet made of real feet?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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