Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
