i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
