that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
