Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
