I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
