put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
