I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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