FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
