He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
