Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So much Jack, so little girl.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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