i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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