I CAN MOONWALK!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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