a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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