Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
