She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
