What did we do last night that was yellow?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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