Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
