dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
