Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
