How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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