1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
