I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We need to get me chipped asap
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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