How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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