carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
