Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
