It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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