I can't watch pbs sober anymore
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I AM VODKA MAN
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
