my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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