okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
