I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize