found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
