guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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