i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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