They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
