Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
