You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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