I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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