mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
