So drunk its hurt
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
