You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
