O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
