hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She told me I should be a condom model.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
