She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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