I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
