haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
