so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
