ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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