I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
