Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
