11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
