"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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