don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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