So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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